As we prepare to celebrate Father’s Day, I think about all of the different kinds of dads out there. I once read that a mom’s job is to nurture and a dad’s job is to teach boundaries. That may be true to a certain extent, but, in this day of unconventional families, I’m not sure the role can be pigeonholed.

Some dads work hard to support a family but aren’t big on heartfelt words or embraces. Instead he shows his love by teaching his kids to whistle, snap, and wiggle their ears. He shows affection by packing them into the family car to go camping or just to a drive-in movie. He shows it by refusing to let them run up and down the road when they get too big for their britches. In line with that, he shows it through restraint, because he doesn’t smother them in their sleep (though they’ve given him plenty of reasons to want to). When his kids are adults, he shows it by the way he introduces them to his neighbors with pride, or by the way he calls just to talk (despite his well regarded disdain for the phone).

Some dads are reluctant fathers, who fall into the role by marrying a woman who already has children. The term ‘step’-parent is appropriate because he ‘step’s up to the task. He does this by cleaning vomit, mending boo-boos, meeting with teachers, and giving his total support and guidance. He notices when they’re struggling and offers wise advice. He teaches them the things they need to learn… to stand up for themselves, to drive, and to strive to see every opinion from both sides. He encourages his children to rise to the challenge to do their best – nothing more and nothing less.

Some dads can say the words and are demonstrative with their affection. Some are doting parents, who always find ways to spend quality time with their children. They teach their kids to swim, golf, fish, or fix cars – and never miss an opportunity to do these things with them.

Some dads are women, who by their marital status or sexual preference find themselves in the role of both parents – attending cub scout meetings or teaching them to hunt, ride a bike, and barbeque.

The descriptions above include my dad, husband, brothers, uncles, and several close friends. All are absolutely wonderful fathers. The point is, there’s no one right way to be a good dad.

This Father’s Day, think about the person who taught you all of the practical and impractical things that made you who you are today - however that person came to be in your life - and, if you’re lucky enough to still have them with you, make sure they know how much you love and appreciate all that they’ve done for you. When you find yourself passing on some of those quirky skills, or repeating his words to your own kids… know that, someday, your kids will hold those memories as dear as you do.

Happy Father’s Day!

Cover art from Flickr Commons

Fishing by Arnob Alam

Who's Your Daddy

Jewel Hart

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